Reminiscing And Nostalgia
by raspberrydoll
Summary: Snape tries to apologize to Lily for calling that disgusting word.


Disclaimer: No copyright intended. Everything belongs to queen Rowling, although I do wish I could take away characters until she learns to play nicely and, like, not kill them.

A/N: This is a merry ficmas ficlet. This little ficlet was inspired by Artic Monkeys - Fireside. I also used a bit of the original text from the books. Given the name for this ficlet, I felt like it was a bit necessary. This is Teenage!Lily and Teenage!Snape. Enjoy!

For Val

Reminiscing and Nostalgia

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I'm not interested."_

_"I'm sorry!"_

_"Save your breath."_

Snape was sitting in his dorm recalling their argument. He had done the unthinkable. He had hurt someone whom he deeply cared about. He had called her _that_ disgusting word. At the time, he didn't even think twice about it and simply called her a 'mudblood'. He was so worked up about James Potter at the time that he didn't think about the consequence to his action. He had tried apologizing to Lily on several occasions and every single time she had turned him down.

He felt bad about causing her any kind of pain and now there was no taking this back. If he only had a time-turner he would go back in time and undo his mistake. Now, he felt, Lily didn't want to be his friend anymore. She had told him how she felt about everything he did, including how she didn't like the fact that he was hanging out with the students from Slytherin house who started calling themselves "death eaters". They were the ones who used the word on a regular basis. After calling her that unforgivable word, he felt dirty. He knows he shouldn't have called her that, of course he shouldn't. Who was he to call her that? He was a half-blood himself. He won't ever repeat the same mistake twice. Gosh, when did everything become so complicated? He started to reminisce on the times when him and Lily would spend time lying down on the grass and talk about magic. The times when he would tell Lily about Hogwarts and dementors.

Severus got up from his bed and made up his mind. He would make it up to Lily. He knows that's she extremely pissed off right now but soon, hopefully, that would change. He wasn't going to ask for forgiveness anymore, instead, he was going to show her how sorry he really was. Actions _always_ speak louder than words.

Walking over to his desk, he took out stationary, an ink pot, and a quill.

_Lily,_

_I'm not asking for forgiveness nor do I deserve it. I know what I did was wrong. This, believe it or not, was an epiphany of sorts. I just hope you'll allow me to show you how very sorry I am. I don't want to hurt you anymore. This was the first and the last time that that'll ever happen. I want to keep our friendship intact. I'm hoping that after I prove myself to you, I'll still be worthy of your friendship. You'll probably burn this letter after you read it and if you do so that's fine. I'm still going to continue with what I have planned. I'm so very sorry, Lily. I know I should probably stop with the apologies but I can't. I should probably leave you alone to be mad at me or even hate me but I won't. _

_I want our friendship to be what it used to be. When we would simply sit and talk about everything and nothing at all. Or when we would simply go to the library to do homework or study for our exams. I miss you and again, I'm sorry._

_Sev_

After sending the letter to Lily with his owl, he started to feel a bit nervous. But like he had stated, he wasn't going to stop his plans to reconcile with his best friend. He missed her and cared about her too much. He didn't want to lose her. He smiled softly to himself even as his nerves were eating at him. He was fairly optimistic in the outcome of this event.

When Lily received an owl, she frowned when she read whom it was from. She was mad at Sev, of course she was. She had every right to be. Sev was someone whom she trusted and he had hurt her. She was considering pointing her wand at the parchment and setting it aflame but then dismissed the thought completely. Being the ultimately kind-hearted person that she was, she opened the letter. After she finished reading it, she didn't feel any better but Sev sounded somehow different. She was hoping that it wasn't going to come back and bite her in the arse, _if_ she considered forgiving him. She would just have to wait and see what he had planned for her. Setting the letter down, she smiled as she felt a bit of nostalgia, remembering the times when her and her Sev would lie down under a tree.


End file.
